The last time I posted Tamara and I were thinking of trying to get pregnant. And in fact we did the first time we tried in the beginning of May. Tamara knew pretty much right away. And I was there for the positive test result... How exciting!
And we have invested several months of love and emotion in what was to come. Baby names, nusery, all that.
And last Friday Tamara start to spot... and we got worried when it continued to Sunday. On Monday she went to her normal appointment and the doctor scheduled an ultrasound for the next day. Monday night the bleedly was significantly more, like a regular period. Oh my God!
And today we confirmed our worst fears. We were not going to have this baby... The ultrasound showed 2 ~8 week developed sacs. Doctor was pretty sure we were to have had twins! But something had went wrong at the 8 week mark and the babies were no more... Aaahhhgggg! No!!!
Yes, it's common. No, it doesn't feel good. And here I am after working tonight instead of going to bed with Tamara as she asked...
It's very depressing. Been working, working just to keep it off my mind. Still tears.
For everything in my life, I could always say, 'Worse things have happened'... Not this time. Nothing worse has happened. It's awful. And twins! OMG!
I know I'll always remember my twins that were not to be! Still tears!
Yeah, it happened for a reason. Yeah, could have been worse. Yeah, whatever. Words just don't work right now.
